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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27536767">i carry band-aids on me now (for when your soft hands hit the jagged ground)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Talentswap (Dangan Ronpa), Fluff, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Ultimate Butler Saihara Shuichi, Ultimate Child Caregiver Oma Kokichi, like a tiny bit of angst because they're still in a killing game but it's mostly light-hearted, shuichi is a little oblivious when it comes to love but it's fine kokichi likes him anyways</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:20:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,014</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27536767</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Wow, Saihara-chan. For an Ultimate Butler, you’re really bad at cooking, aren’t you?” Kokichi says, raising an eyebrow at the shallow cut on his finger. </p><p>“It’s not that,” Shuichi defends himself, wiping away the blood with the handkerchief he always keeps in his pocket. “You just make me a little nervous, that’s all.” </p><p>(Shuichi attempts to prepare a meal for the students still remaining, but Kokichi is just a little too distracting.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i carry band-aids on me now (for when your soft hands hit the jagged ground)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’ve wanted to write a Talentswap AU for a while now but I wanted to make it fluffy and it’s hard to do that when Saiouma are canonically very angsty? I figured Child Caregiver would be a good switch for Kokichi to make this more light-hearted, given that he’d keep the leadership skills but probably be more used to being patient and less hostile.</p><p>It’s not directly stated in the fic but this would be after the killing game’s third trial. There are nine survivors left so far who I randomly chose, given that different talents would probably also affect who the blackened and victims are. Survivors so far - Kokichi, Shuichi, Rantaro (Cosplayer), Maki (Inventor), Tenko (Artist), Miu (Aikido), Kaito (Tennis Pro), Kiibo (Supreme Leader) and Angie (Robot).</p><p>I reference a rule in the killing game here that a person can only kill two people, but I’ve realised on re-read that I think that rule exists in SDR2 but doesn’t exist in V3. Just pretend it’s a valid thing in the killing game they’re in.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Today is a normal day. Well, normal for the inhabitants of this academy anyway, since Shuichi is fairly certain no one else has to constantly worry about their classmates stabbing them in the back.</p><p>Shuichi had followed his usual routine - wake up early, prepare a breakfast for the eight other students that are still standing and then make sure that their living quarters were as tidy as could be. There wasn’t much time to socialise, not even when he paused for a break, especially not when the others’ somewhat overbearing personalities can be grating. </p><p>But while he may be more used to the silence of the households he used to work for, Shuichi is slowly becoming more and more accustomed to the noise. He also may be used to making dinner on his own, but he prefers now to do it while someone else can watch his back. He needs the company to keep his nerves steady, which is exactly why he’s searching for a certain someone. </p><p>Kokichi is hovering in the hallway outside of the dining hall, as if he already knows Shuichi is looking for him. His hair is messily pulled back into a low ponytail and the multi-coloured clips through his bangs are out of place, likely from running away after messing with one of their classmates. His un-zipped red hoodie falls off one shoulder but the sleeves are deliberately rolled up, his backpack slung over the other shoulder, not fully zipped up so Shuichi can catch a peek of the many packets of snacks Kokichi stashes in there. </p><p>Shuichi feels a tad over-dressed in comparison, clad in his usual suit while Kokichi wanders around in worn cut-off jeans, but he has become used to this feeling by now. He was raised to take the utmost care of his clothing but no one here seems to share the same sentiments. It’s not a bad thing and he really needs to learn a lesson or two on how to be more casual.</p><p>“Saihara-chan!” Kokichi calls out when Shuichi rounds the corner, the corners of his mouth tilted up in a carefree smile that is missing its usual mischief. He must have gotten the teasing out of his system already. Shuichi feels bad for Kiibo, if who Kokichi usually targets is a sign for who the boy has gone for this time. “Ready to start dinner?”</p><p>Shuichi nods. “Would you like to help?” he asks, always extending the courtesy of questioning Kokichi, although the boy always tags along these days. He had revealed once, early on in the game when both of them were too sleep-deprived and stressed for their own good, that he found it a bit unfair that Shuichi is always doing this for them. It was uncharacteristically upfront of him and Kokichi has clung to his side ever since.</p><p>Shuichi appreciates the sentiment, but he does live to serve after all and he expects nothing more than thankful smiles in return for his work. The meals they share together may mean little on the surface, but in this life or death situation, Shuichi can at least try to have them stick together and build some comradery. He’s also fairly certain that most of his friends are a little too deeply buried in their self-destructive habits and he feels obliged to help them keep steady when they don’t have the energy to. </p><p>“Of course, I wouldn’t miss out on spending time with Saihara-chan.” Kokichi’s tone is bright in his usual manner, but there’s a sincere undertone to his words. The caregiver has a tendency to not be particularly frank about his thoughts and he has taken to pretending to the others that he just enjoys distracting Shuichi. But around the one he claims to be messing with, he is becoming strangely honest, or perhaps Shuichi is becoming better at reading when he is being genuine. </p><p>“I’m not sure how much I can help, though.” Kokichi holds up his hands to show Shuichi nail polish that has yet to fully dry, painted black in a contrast to his usual attire. He must have been hanging around in Rantaro’s lab again, given there is no one else in this place that owns that many cosmetics other than the cosplayer. “You should join us sometime, you know. You’re always so busy that the others barely get to see you.”</p><p>“I don’t want to intrude,” Shuichi says nervously over his shoulder as he nudges open the door to the dining hall. Both he and Kokichi are well aware that Shuichi’s not entirely used to communicating with anyone outside of his bosses. While there is the fact that the gloves he constantly wears would render Rantaro’s decoration useless, the main reason for him hiding away is his own awkwardness. He is so used to falling into the role of someone who cares for others without expecting anything in return or being the superior looking after rows of inexperienced staff that genuine friendship is hard for him to take on. It’s a good thing that Kokichi is so persistent. </p><p>“And I don’t need that much assistance,” Shuichi promises as Kokichi follows him to the counters that line this side of the walls. There’s a few dishes left unclean by the sink, likely left behind by Miu and Kaito’s snack breaks after they finish practicing for the morning, since he already knows most of the others would bother picking up after themselves and Angie can’t even eat. Shuichi sighs at the thought of the amount of cleaning he’ll have to do by hand later.</p><p>“Having you around is enough for me,” he continues, attempting a little smile despite how hard he has found it to not revert back to a poker face. Kokichi’s energy is infectious naturally, but so is the incoming sense of dread that slowly encroaches as each day passes by and the bodies pile up higher and higher. </p><p>But, weirdly enough, having Kokichi around eases that apprehension just a little. Kokichi has gained a bit of a reputation for being a compulsive liar - something the caregiver has always sworn became a habit after making up so many grandiose stories to tell the children he looks after - but there is a vibrance to every word he speaks. Being around Kokichi makes Shuichi remember that he is alive, that his heart still beats and his lungs still work despite the deaths that haunt these hallways.</p><p>Kokichi’s eyes are wide and almost naive-seeming as he peers up at Shuichi’s strained expression, as if he is confused by the sentiment, a strange expression on the face of someone who knows too much. Shuichi is much more used to his impish smiles than this. He gets the idea that Kokichi isn’t used to being praised for being a dependable presence and the scrutiny turns him even more awkward, rubbing a hand over his neck as he avoids the other’s gaze.</p><p>Luckily, Kokichi doesn’t press on and Shuichi feels a sense of relief, considering he isn’t exactly sure how to put into words just how safe the other makes him feel without embarrassing himself beyond belief. “What are you making?” Kokichi asks instead, leaning against the counter as Shuichi digs through the fridge for the ingredients he needs. It’s just an attempt at small talk, considering Kokichi never seems to care particularly about what they eat as long as the texture isn’t too irritating. </p><p>Shuichi balances the excess amount of food in his arms, smiling in thanks when the other takes some of it from him to put down. “I’m thinking of making a hot pot,” he says, surveying the ingredients stacked in front of him. “It is Chabashira-san’s favourite and she’s been down ever since Yumeno-san…” Shuichi trails off, not bothering to finish the thought. Kokichi was the one who found Himiko’s body, he’ll remember the scene better than anyone else. “It’s not a lot, but it’s at least something. I want to try and help her anyway I can.”</p><p>“Saihara-chan is so thoughtful,” Kokichi praises, a fairly obvious attempt to cheer him up, given how his purple eyes are analysing the side of Shuichi’s face. Despite the inspection, Shuichi appreciates it. There is not much he or anyone else can really do to improve Tenko’s mood, but he’ll take any small victory he can get. Himiko’s loss had affected them all, just as every death does, but it had affected the artist who had clung onto her for comfort the most.</p><p>“And for dessert?” Kokichi prompts, a break from something serious so he can dive right back into being selfish. Shuichi doesn’t hold back his chuckle and he watches another pleased smile light up Kokichi's face. Kokichi wasn’t exactly friends with Himiko, but there was no mistaking that he was affected by witnessing her in that state, given the sickly colour of his skin after seeing all that blood. This mainly isn’t him being insensitive, he is just trying to direct Shuichi away from getting lost in his own head. “Saihara-chan knows how I need sweets to keep my energy levels up. Looking after kids is hard, you know?”</p><p><em> There aren’t any kids here? </em>Shuichi thinks to himself, although Kokichi is probably making a dig at how immature some of the others happen to be. Shuichi can’t really blame them for that, not when they got tossed into this killing game without any warning. It’s a miracle that any of them manage to be so naive considering the circumstances, but he prefers that than watching any of them devolve into melancholy.</p><p>The maturity that Kokichi keeps mostly hidden behind a veil of lies is not easily achieved. The caregiver uses his baby face and short stature to his advantage, but in front of the stand, he’s the most cynical of them all. He keeps his voice high-pitched and childish but spits venom with no caution for who is caught in the crossfire. Kokichi takes no chances, trusts and believes in others so very little, refuses to keep his mouth shut when he knows there is a murderer standing amongst them. </p><p>And yet, in moments like this, Shuichi is fully aware that Kokichi is trying. For all his whining and theatrics, he is willing and ready to help, sticking by Shuichi’s side when he notices the anxiety drowning the butler from the inside out. Kokichi is good at reading others, a skill that must have come from years of dealing with the children at his orphanage. Kids are so honest in their reactions and yet are so willing to tell little white lies that it’s hard to get the balance of believing them enough but not too much. Applying that patience to those who are older takes work, but Kokichi is nothing but diligent.</p><p>Shuichi can’t say the same for himself. He served many children before he somehow arrived here, but whoever made Saihara Shuichi forced him to mature too quickly, and he’d never been able to find equal footing with his young masters. Kokichi, on the other hand, had been born into abandonment, curated under a watchful eye that made him an older brother-figure to many, and his skillset had been made purely to make him a master of understanding. </p><p>Understanding others doesn’t automatically equal kindness and Kokichi is a boisterous bundle of energy that sometimes doesn’t shut up even though he knows he probably should. Shuichi still likes that about him, even if it was hard to get accustomed to. Even though this carefree attitude may just be a mask, it’s enjoyable to be around all the same, most of the time. Shuichi smiles, a little wider this time, used to Kokichi’s thought process by now. “We still have some of the cake left over from a few days ago. I guess I’ll have to save the last slice for Ouma-kun?”</p><p>Kokichi hums happily at that, murmuring something along the lines of <em> Saihara-chan is the best, </em>although Shuichi quickly finds his mind more focused on exactly how to prepare this dish rather than listening to the other. He gets too far into his head when he fixates on a task and it’s not long till the room is silent, apart from the noise of a knife hitting the bottom of a chopping board. Even now, even though he finds Kokichi to be good company, he’s still a little unused to being scrutinised so closely. </p><p>Kokichi likes to solve mysteries. He’s not an innate genius and he still stumbles through class trials for a while before finding his footing, but the caregiver is also sharp and quick-witted and likes to watch others squirm. Shuichi knows that Kokichi finds him far too interesting, since a nervous wreck isn’t exactly someone you’d peg as worthy of being an ultimate, especially when their talent is focused on something that requires precision. </p><p>Shuichi is something of a mystery solver himself, given that someone had to take up the position of detective when they lost Kaede. But he’s good at the little details, at analysing the crime scene to figure out what was out-of-place and didn’t quite make sense. He’s not so good at people, per say, because while he may not be sharp-tongued or lacking in kindness, it’s hard to pick up on hidden feelings when you’re used to being told directly to your face that you’re failing at your job.</p><p>He may be getting more adept at picking up on Kokichi’s habits that only occur when he’s telling the truth, but he’s not so good at reading the purple eyes that are burning holes into the side of his face. Shuichi’s hands are a little shaky and the knife he is using slips in his grasp, sliding fast and quick over one of his fingers. Both he and Kokichi just end up staring at the small droplet of pink that arises, Shuichi with a clear sense of embarrassment for messing up at something he is meant to be good at and Kokichi with slight amusement. </p><p>“Wow, Saihara-chan. For an Ultimate Butler, you’re really bad at cooking, aren’t you?” Kokichi says, raising an eyebrow as if he is confused by the turn of events, even though this kind of accident isn’t exactly unusual when he decides to pester Shuichi. It’s just a shallow cut, thankfully. It’s nothing compared to the only major incident they’d had outside of the actual murders, when Kokichi had dropped through a broken floorboard and had to stand through a class trial with a concussion and only Kaito’s grip on his arm to keep him steady. </p><p>“It’s not that,” Shuichi defends himself, wiping away the blood with the handkerchief he always keeps in his pocket. “You just make me a little nervous, that’s all.” He struggles to admit it to himself, but the nervousness he feels around Kokichi is somehow a good kind. Whenever Kokichi brushes against him as they walk from the dorms together, Shuichi’s skin tingles and he has to hold himself back from linking their hands together. Kokichi’s presence is both grounding and yet not at all at the same time for reasons unknown, comforting even though he doesn’t quite understand why yet, even when the others tease him for apparently being too oblivious. </p><p>“I make you nervous?” Kokichi asks, pouting, but there is something uncomfortable about his gaze, as if his eyes have suddenly gained a disappointed edge. “Do you really hate me that much?” Shuichi watches as the other digs around in the pockets of his jacket, thankfully not devolving into the usual fake-crying routine that often grates on Shuichi’s nerves, even when he smudges his nail polish a little. He pulls out a box that looks like it has seen better days, revealing several band-aids with cartoonishly vibrant characters plastered all over them. </p><p>Shuichi looks down at Kokichi’s out-stretched hand in confusion. “Give me your hand, Saihara-chan,” Kokichi demands, mouth twisting in an imitation of a grin when a hint of red rises over Shuichi’s cheekbones for missing the obvious que. He is old enough to do this for himself, but Kokichi’s touch is strangely gentle when he wraps the band-aid around the cut and he can’t bring himself to protest. Shuichi guesses that Kokichi is used to accidents involving scraped knees and soothing the tears of a panicked child must be like second nature to him. It’s interesting that Kokichi still carries around the tools of his trade, even though there isn’t anyone here for him to care for in the way the boy must be used to. </p><p>It’s a familiar moment, only their roles are flipped. Looking after others comes as easy as breathing to Shuichi, but being on the other side isn’t something he is used to. “I’m not used to people with this much energy. Or, well, people in general, really,” Shuichi admits, the confession a little stilted. He can do kind words and eager reassurances, but talking about his own issues is a little harder. But he has a feeling he may have messed up with his initial wording and he needs to clarify this quickly. “But I don’t hate it. I don’t hate you, either. Being around you is quite nice, especially compared to some of the people I used to work with.”</p><p>“I’m not sure if most of the people most of the people here would agree with that.” The smile on Kokichi’s face is subdued, even as he keeps his tone steady and falsely cheerful. He’s a little bit right, unfortunately. Kokichi makes everyone a tad nervous, it’s a well known fact. There are many reasons for that, more than Shuichi could count on all ten fingers, but all of them are slowly moving past it. It’s a slow process, a long road filled with many bumps and dips, but they are getting there. “Idabashi-chan keeps avoiding me, after all.”</p><p>“I think that’s because you keep pestering him to let you join his organisation,” Shuichi says, thinking of the put-off expression on Kiibo’s face when Shuichi and Kaede had found him being hounded by Kokichi just after they all woke up. Kokichi might just be messing around, but his insensitive nature hadn’t meshed well at first with Kiibo’s more sheltered understanding of social skills, or lack thereof. Words can easily be misunderstood, especially if they are falling from the lips of a liar who is a master of covering up his true intentions. Even so, Shuichi is well aware that Kiibo still trusts the caregiver, even if his truth isn’t all that easy to read. </p><p>“But there are people here who care about you, Ouma-kun, myself included.” Shuichi might care a little too much. He practically had a heart attack when he found what he had thought was Kokichi’s corpse, collapsed over blood-stained floorboards with pink streaming down his forehead. ”We don’t have a lot of hope here, but you keep us all distracted. I know the others don’t really mention it, but we do appreciate you for it.”</p><p>They all do, even if they are hesitant to say it. Kokichi can be annoying, a little bastard who takes too much joy in pissing people off, but he’s just as willing to offer assistance, whether it be helping Maki with her projects or giving Miu a bottle of water after she has practiced in the gym. It’s a strange balance, as Kokichi toes the line between too artificially sunny to bear and too giving for his own good. The caregiver is selfish, Shuichi knows that, but he also knows that Kokichi would do anything to end this game and that is good enough for him.</p><p>At first, none of them could handle him, too worn out from the stress of losing the one girl who was willing to step up and be their leader. Kaede hadn’t been by Shuichi’s side for all that long, just a few days, but it had felt like the first time in eons that someone had regarded him with actual warmth. Stumbling across her dead body had shattered something inside of him, something that had long been fractured and never quite repaired, and he had lost the confidence he had been slowly building. </p><p>His posture turned slumped, he could no longer meet anyone’s eyes and every harsh word from Kokichi’s mouth made his stomach turn. The caregiver had turned to him with stone cold eyes paired with an inviting grin and said that Kaede’s death was inevitable. Shuichi wanted to scream then but the words had caught in his tightening throat, halted by the look of knowing in his gaze, like he was a puppet commandeered under Kokichi’s strings. He now knows that Kokichi was right, that Kaede’s death was pre-determined because the girl couldn’t keep her well-meaning mouth shut. He has had his suspicions for a while now even if he’s still putting together the pieces. </p><p>Even if it was the truth for once, it had stung, just as Kokichi’s blatant disregard for anyone’s feelings did. Not even Shuichi, his closest ally now, could handle his energy. The only one who would willingly approach him was Rantaro, who had probably become used to being the big brother figure to a bunch of bratty kids. Kokichi was right and he’ll hold that over Shuichi’s head, a carrot on a stick dragging him in to want answers, to know how Kokichi keeps up with this game without drowning. </p><p>Shuichi regrets ignoring him now. If he had approached Kokichi earlier, maybe the other boy wouldn’t be so starved of human contact. It isn’t only his fault though and those of them that are left are working overtime to understand the enigma that had wandered into their path. As the clock ticked forward and the class trials grew in numbers, it has become clear that Kokichi’s cruel words are warnings. <em> You can’t just trust anyone, Saihara-chan, </em>Kokichi had pointed out, hovering in front of a white board with Shuichi’s picture next to a scrawled question mark. In another lifetime, Shuichi thinks the boy would have made a good detective. </p><p>He wonders sometimes. If this Kokichi, who is so energetic even though he’s held back by the patience he learned for the children who need it the most, could be so polarising, then what would have happened in another life, one where his talent didn’t allow tolerance? But then Shuichi shakes his head and lets the thoughts float away, focusing back on this life, the one that matters. He can’t ponder over what-ifs and could-have-beens, not when thinking of the worst case scenario leaves him so unsettled. Kokichi is still here and that is all that matters. </p><p>“Whatever you say, Saihara-chan.” Kokichi doesn’t contest his words, even if he is talking in the exact type of tone that spells out that he doesn’t think Shuichi is being all that honest. Shuichi would push more, but he’s not dumb enough to. He values this odd friendship and would rather not risk any of Kokichi’s anger right now, not when losing another person here, even if they are just avoiding him, would push him past his limits. “Don’t you have a meal to get back to? Or am I too distracting to handle?”</p><p>“I think you know the answer to that,” Shuichi mumbles, casting his eyes back on the unprepared ingredients in front of him with a little bit of disdain. He enjoys cooking in a sense, because he knows that he’s good at it and he appreciates that his hard work has paid off, but there is still a part of him that wants to just sit at the table and have a heartfelt conversation instead. They could play the card games that the caregiver enjoys, something distracting to stop Shuichi’s head from getting too loud for his own good. He’s well aware that he needs a break, but he has already begun now and there is no point in stopping. </p><p>Kokichi hops up onto the free space on the counter, swinging his short legs that dangle over the edge. He is still right by Shuichi’s side but now he has a perfect view of the dining hall in all of its average glory, metal as far as the eyes can see except for the few flowers that sprout along the walls. Everything here is so artificial it hurts to look at and the last remaining pieces of nature stick out like a sore thumb. “This place is such an eyesore,” Kokichi huffs. “Even though I love spending time with Saihara-chan, I hate being stuck here. If I wasn’t a pacifist, I might have just killed you all to get out.”</p><p>“Um…” Shucihi isn’t trying to be insulting but he takes one look at Kokichi, five foot tall with barely any muscle left clinging to his bones, who is likely more used to wrangling a group of rowdy kids than wielding a murder weapon, and can’t imagine it. Kokichi is nimble, his stamina is solid enough when he’s messing around and he’s intensely intimidating when he tries hard enough. But he is a trickster through and through, calculating and quick-thinking, not a brute who relies on strength to overpower others. “Are you sure you could-”</p><p>Before he can even finish, Kokichi cuts him off. “Ah, Saihara-chan really has no faith in me? How mean.” He is pouting but there’s a teasing glint to his eyes that Shuichi doesn’t even need to see to know that the caregiver is playing around. Kokichi has always seemed a little too at ease with the idea of murder and he had joked about it a far amount earlier on, something that had riled up quite a few of the other students. But Shuichi had never believed he was being serious, even when Kokichi had gotten a little too careless with a knife in the kitchen.</p><p>Shuichi knows now that anyone, even someone who encapsulates all the traits of innocence, could cave to Monokuma’s motives. Maybe that means he should be a little more wary of Kokichi, but he can’t, not when the other’s words always seem so empty. The boy will tease and tease till he is breathless, but he’s never relied on violence to move forward. Sometimes, in the middle of trials, when he looks at Kokichi’s facade of calm, he gets the feeling that the caregiver hates the killing game more than anyone else. The jokes, the lies, all of the mockery and too bright smiles - it all has to be a bunch of unhealthy coping mechanisms that reminds Shuichi there is still a lot he doesn’t know about Ouma Kokichi. </p><p>“Isn’t there a rule against multiple killings anyway?” Shuichi questions, his shoulders tense. He still feels awkward just casually discussing murder as he makes a meal, even though they’ve been in this hell for weeks now. If Kokichi can manage to so easily talk about this, Shuichi can’t help but wonder what he’s been through in his young life so far. Not that he’d admit he’s so curious, not when Kokichi becomes caged off whenever someone looks too far into his personality.</p><p>“Hmmm.” Kokichi presses a finger to his own cheek, eyes peering up towards the ceiling as he thinks to himself. All of them are lucky that Kokichi isn’t truly going to go down a blackened path, considering he has the creative brain that would make a perfect mastermind. “I mean, I guess I could just outsmart you all through a class trial, but I’ve got to admit that Saihara-chan has gotten too good at his detective work for that. But if I was super fast, would Monokuma be able to stop me?”</p><p>“I don’t think anyone could kill eight people just in a couple of seconds, Ouma-kun…” Shuichi trails off. Now that he thinks about it, it is making him both a tiny bit queasy and very intrigued. He’s not particularly fond of the line of questioning that makes him think of copious amounts of pink blood, but he’s admittedly always been a little curious about exactly how much control the mastermind has over this place. Any information he can gather is another step towards leaving the game. “Right?”</p><p>“But-” Kokichi pauses, the corner of his mouth quirking up as if he has had a particularly devious idea, and points at the bowl of ingredients that Shuichi has been working on preparing. “Say - hypothetically - if I poisoned our dinner. Don’t ask where I’d get poison from in here, I’m sure the vending machines here have some weird stuff hidden away in them - but say that I did and the dose is fatal enough for everyone, how would anyone be able to stop it?”</p><p>Shuichi discreetly nudges the food a little further out of Kokichi’s reach. While he is convinced the caregiver isn’t going to become a murderer anytime soon, he is also pretty certain that the boy isn’t past putting some strange powder in their food for prank-related reasons. “You always know exactly how to make me paranoid, Ouma-kun. You’re just trying to scare me, aren’t you?” Shuichi asks, his lips involuntarily forming a small smile. The others probably wouldn’t react so casually to this kind of teasing, but Shuichi is used to Kokichi’s special brand of mischief. </p><p>Kokichi giggles, twirling strands of his already messy hair around one of his fingers. “Is it working?” It’s a rhetorical question, since Kokichi always knows exactly what buttons to press to get reactions out of people. “Of course it was a joke, I’d never hurt my beloved butler. But someone has to keep you on your toes, we can’t have our main detective not paying attention when anything could happen here. But, don’t worry Shumai, I can be your taste tester, poison couldn’t hurt me at all, of course.”</p><p>Shuichi swallows down the <em> that’s a lie </em>that would have once been a natural response to Kokichi’s nonchalant rambling. Testing for poisons would have been a servant’s job, but Shuichi looks at Kokichi and sees a jester in his place, brightly-coloured clothes and a happy-go-lucky smile, playing his role at court perfectly. Kokichi pretends to be a wildcard, but his words are anything but foolish and he is always pushing Shuichi towards the truth while those surrounding him bicker amongst themselves, too cowardly to know what is staring them directly in the face. “Is this your excuse to get more food?” he says instead. “You could just ask, you know?”</p><p>Kokichi tilts his head to the side. “But where’s the fun in that?” Shuichi shakes his head fondly, turning back to the task at hand. In turn, Kokichi finds other means to distract himself and when Shuichi glances back at him, he is staring down at the half-empty box of band-aids clutched in his pale hands. There is a contemplative look on his face, the same kind of expression he made in the aftermath of the last trial when Tenko had regressed to nothing more than a blubbering mess when justice was served for her girlfriend. He wonders now if Kokichi sees others in each and every one of them, if he stared at Tenko and saw in her a vision of the orphans he used to care for, the same wailing tears streaked down their young faces.</p><p>“You know,” Shuichi starts, his voice steady and stable even though he feels as if he is about to step on a landmine. Kokichi has been through a lot, anyone with a functional pair of eyes can see that, and he is not the type to talk about his feelings without a lengthy fight beforehand. Shuichi doesn’t know if he has earned enough of his trust to be considered a confidant, but he wants to give it a shot, because Kokichi deserves someone caring enough to ask him kind of invasive questions. “I’m sure the kids you looked after are just fine.”</p><p>The caregiver’s gaze snaps up quickly, for a second, lingering with a heaviness that Shuichi stutters beneath, but then Kokichi is back to staring at his hands. “Saihara-chan saw right through me, huh.” Kokichi smiles, but it is dull and strained and doesn’t reach his usually expressive eyes. He seems slightly put off by Shuichi’s words and he almost backpedals to avoid wandering into dangerous territory, but then Kokichi hesitates, almost as if wants to spill his guts. “Well, I shouldn’t have expected any less from the protagonist of this game.”</p><p><em> Protagonist? </em>Shuichi almost asks incredulously. There is clear intent behind Kokichi’s use of that word, as if he is hinting at something obvious that Shuichi has yet to catch onto. But then Kokichi marches forward with a sudden burst of energy, as if he couldn’t stop the words from spilling out. “Of course I’m worried about them,” Kokichi sighs, rubbing a palm over his forehead. If the slight edge of panic in his eyes is a sign of anything, then Kokichi must be just as shocked that he’s letting himself speak about private matters. “But I can’t dwell on it, can I? Just like how you can’t think too much about the people you’ve left behind either.”</p><p>It stings a little to imagine the smiling faces of the last family Shuichi served or the warm tone of his uncle’s voice on the rare days they got to spend together. They all left something important behind before they woke up in this academy, Shuichi waving goodbye to his fellow workers when his last shift before a week-long break ended, Kokichi falling into slumber with all his honorary siblings tucked beside him. “Still, I do want you to know I’m here if you ever need to talk about them,” Shuichi mumbles, quieter now, a little lost in his own memories. “Or anything really. I don’t want to push but-” </p><p>“Thank you, Saihara-chan,” Kokichi interjects, before Shuichi can devolve into nervous rambling. Even if the beaming smile has dimmed, the look on his face now is a lot more genuine, a subdued kind of content. “I’ll keep that in mind. If I ever need to confide in anyone, it’ll be you I’ll go searching for. And that’s not a lie, for once. You are the one I find most trustworthy, don’t you remember?” And Shuichi does. He can still remember when Kokichi had dragged him into his room in the dead of night, eyes still a tad bleary, and there, behind Kokichi’s out-stretched arms, had been the evidence of the caregiver’s hard work.</p><p>Shuichi realises that Kokichi probably has trust issues. To lie in every breath is a habit probably born of ill intention, branded upon him by circumstances beyond a child’s control. Kokichi was raised in an orphanage after all, abandoned by his family, so good at his talent simply because he had been in the shoes of a scared and lonely child himself. And well, Shuichi’s parents had never been much of a fixture in his own life either, leaving him behind and banished to his uncle’s home, the feeling of inferiority building and building as he realised he had been forgotten. He can understand Kokichi on that level. </p><p>Kokichi is so eager to support, but he rarely lets anyone past the invisible boundaries that lock him away from the rest of the world. Offering a helping hand is different to welcoming someone into your deepest thoughts. Shuichi keeps reaching out and Kokichi always takes his hand, but never quite pulls him in through the locked door, keeping him at arm's length. But Shuichi doesn’t mind that now. He doesn’t need Kokichi to stop his lies if he himself can gradually learn to see the truth on his own, and Kokichi is slowly undoing the chains that keep them separated. When Kokichi lets him hover by his side, bringing out slivers of his true self for Shuichi’s eyes only, it feels like an unspoken agreement that things are looking up. </p><p>Kokichi must have been the one keeping that orphanage afloat, running smoothly under his careful direction. There were likely other teenagers there too, and older staff as well, but if his title is an indicator of anything, Kokichi must have been the one children flocked to. Shuichi wants to see his natural talent in action, watch Kokichi’s gaze grow fond as he crouches down to be on equal level with the kids, helping them make daisy chains or showing them some of the tricks he’d picked up over the years. “When we get out of here-” Shuichi isn’t complacent enough to take a possibility more than a surety. They’ll survive, somehow, he’ll make sure of it. “You should take me to meet them, the kids you look after.” </p><p>“Eh? Saihara-chan, don’t you hate kids?” Kokichi asks, confused as he meets Shuichi’s eyes straight on. Shuichi thinks hate is a little too strong of a word. He had never grown up around children as Kokichi and Rantaro had, instead being the focus of several bullies’ ire. When he had been old enough to serve his job in earnest, the children that he had met had been spoiled and unwilling to waver in their often wrong assumptions. It had soured his view of children, just a little bit, since he was never sure how to deal with them. “Aren’t they too messy for you? I thought it would bother you too much to be hounded by some brats.”</p><p><em> I already have to deal with you, so I think I’ll be fine, </em>he almost says, but decides against it. Shuichi is attempting to be serious, he doesn’t need to fall back into bantering with Kokichi. “I might be a bit uncomfortable, but that doesn’t matter to me. I like you a lot, Ouma-kun. I want to know more about you, especially in a situation where we’re not constantly putting our lives at stake. And I think meeting those you care about is a good starting point.” The boy behind him grows silent and Shuichi turns from the meat he has been cutting into pieces, not expecting the hint of blushing rising over the other’s cheeks, eyes open comically wide. “Ouma-kun?”</p><p>“Saihara-chan caught me off guard,” Kokichi mumbles. Speechless is quite a good look on him, Shuichi thinks, the shock wiping away any need to put on an act so his expression is open and honest for once. The butler just isn’t sure what caused the reaction. <em> Isn’t it normal to want to know more about your friends? </em>Shuichi thinks to himself, blatantly ignorant to the way butterflies flutter in his stomach when Kokichi’s ears turn red. “I thought I was meant to be stealing your heart, not the other way around.”</p><p>Shuichi blinks, staring at Kokichi with enough confusion that the other seems to catch onto how he has no idea why the caregiver is blushing. He feels as if he has missed something important, given Kokichi’s almost incredulous stare. Kaede had called him oblivious once or twice before they had lost her and it had felt insulting coming from the detective, but perhaps she was simply being honest. “Um, Ouma-kun, what are you talking about?”</p><p>“You take the lead in trials, but when it comes to a certain kind of feelings, you’re really oblivious, aren't you?” Kokichi sounds a mixture of disappointed and amused, and Shuichi frowns, getting the distinct feeling that the other is laughing at him. The boy reaches over, patting him on the head before hopping off his spot on the counter, looking up at him with a soft smile. “Don’t worry about it, Saihara-chan. I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually. You’re good at mystery solving, after all.”</p><p>Kokichi turns on his heel, moving towards the door before pausing, spinning around to stare up at Shuichi with a grin. “But you know, I think I’ll take you up on that offer. I’m sure the kids would love you, since you’re so easy to mess around with.” Kokichi makes Shuichi’s head rush with how quickly he glides between different moods, but it’s intoxicating, enthralling, and he is always tempted to run after the boy, wanting more of that excitement that only the most polarising of people can provide. </p><p>“Is that a compliment or not?” Shuichi questions, unsure of how to take Kokichi’s words. He knows Kokichi likes him because he is both willing to play along with the boy’s mind games, walking the tightrope between too smart to trick and too gullible to capture. </p><p>“Of course it is! You’re not boring at all.” Coming from Kokichi, that’s a rather kind compliment. The boy smiles, lost in his head, probably thinking of all the schemes he could set up with the kids to catch Shuichi off guard. “The kids love to play make believe. I’m sure you’d make a good detective to their phantom thieves, wouldn’t you?”</p><p>Before Shuichi can make a comment about how it probably isn’t the best idea to have easily impressionable children pretend to be criminals, the door swings quietly open and Maki slips into the room, stopping in her tracks when she takes in the sight of the pair of them messing around. “Ah, Harukawa-san!” Shuichi calls out. “Would you mind helping Ouma-kun set up the table?”</p><p>“Am I interrupting something?” Her tone is flat like usual, but there is something unreadable about her expression as she glances between Kokichi, whose complaints about having to do something are only there for show, and Shuichi, who smiles her way openly. </p><p>“Of course not, Maki Roll!” Kokichi chirps, casually stealing the nickname reserved only for Kaito’s use. But instead of reacting with ire, like she would have in the early stages when no one could spend more than a few minutes with Kokichi without succumbing to irritation, she just rolls her eyes. They are all growing ever so more comfortable around their resident troublemaker and it eases Shuichi’s fears just a little.</p><p>In the face of all this tragedy, watching his friends get along, even if it’s just for a little while before someone has to crack, makes Shuichi think things will be okay.</p>
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